Insanely sane… Surviving qualmless.

Insanely sane… Surviving qualmless.
I'm not a perfect person, But I never meant to do those things; And so I have to say before I go, That I just want myself to know. I've found out a reason for me,; To change who I used to be A reason to start over new, and the reason is you. I've found a reason to show, A side of me you didn't know; A reason for all that I do, Before I let you go...

Monday, June 1, 2009

Prophecy.


“Somebody very close to you will save your life today”, the astrologer spoke after a long pause.

 “Somebody very close… and me!!”, he stood their for a few moments shaking his head and smiling to himself.

 

 

It was raining heavily as he drove along the then empty street to meet her. “She must be drenched…”, he thought aloud.

 

“Lift Lift”, a girl called out, desperately trying to attract his attention.

“Sure”, he opened the door of the car.

 

“Hello, I am Nisha”

“Hi, myself Randeep”

“What do you do?”, she asked.

“I am a doctor…”, he replied.

He took her in as she spoke; she was pale but unnaturally beautiful.

 

He dropped her.

“Thank you very much, I don’t know how I would have got home otherwise. No transport, nothing. By the way, you can just drop by for some coffee, it’s raining and nobody’s at home”, she offered.

“Thank you, but I am late for an appointment”

“It won’t take more than a few minutes”

Reluctantly he accepted her offer.

 

He sat in the drawing room, surfing channels.

She was changing inside into a short black dress; a sly grin crossed her face.

 

She entered with the coffee, swaying her slim body provocatively. She could see his flashing eyes.

“Bastards”, she thought, “You can just stay for sometime…”, aloud. “Off course if you are not in a hurry…”, she added softly.

“Sure…”, his cell rang as he uttered the word.

 

“Where are you? I am getting soaked to my skin here”, came her voice.

“I am on my way darling, just gimme two minutes.”

He hurriedly left the apartment, promising to drop by soon….

 

 

He ran across to the car unheeding the rain, unlocked the door and got inside.

Just as he inserted the key in the ignition, the purse beside him attracted his attention.

“Oh, she has forgotten…”, a folded piece of paper was disturbingly sticking out of it.

He unfolded it. It was a medical certificate. The few words scribbled across sent a chill down his spine…

 

“Name: Nisha Sharma

 Age: 23 years

 

Confirmed HIV”.

 P.S. Beware of careless contacts. Save yourself from HIV.

 

This is my second attempt at Fiction, intended to make this a 55 fiction, but unfortunately while framing it up, it became so long, that it became a full story. L

Please do let me know what you think of this, I am looking forward eagerly to your views on my efforts. Incidentally this idea crossed my mind while going through an unknown person’s collection of you-tube videos in Orkut, who had by the by sent me a friend request. Thank you. J

 

 

 

Please do read and comment on my efforts if you find this post popping up anywhere near you :P

28 comments:

Brosreview said...

Since, you started this like a 55 word fiction, I can see the urgency in dialogues and some actions too.

Also, you can add more depth to the actions and not just spoken words.

A decent effort! All the best!

sawan said...

ive seen the video. nice attempt.

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA said...

i have attempted some 55s myself...nice form of flash fiction :) good effort though...you could have added smthing more...anyway..tis a good read :)

Hemanth Potluri said...

good read diya...nicely formed into 55 words...

urs..hemu..

Arnab Majumdar said...

Nice! Good one... keep writing :)

Cheers...

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

wow... pretty good... that is a close escape :-)

Mayz said...

i thot she was a ghost or smthn

Aniket said...

I loved it. :)

It was high paced and to the point. And a nice ending. Am glad you dropped the idea of 55F. In fact, I would have loved it if you had grown the characters a bit more. Shown more shades of the female.

Loved it none-the-less. :D

akanksha said...

Its too good! :)
Nice Fiction, if not 55 fiction!
Great attempt girl!

Diya said...

@ Brosreview
I`ll try. :)
Thankxx :)

Diya said...

@ Sawan
Thankxx. :)

Diya said...

@ Abhik
Well, since I had this 55Fiction in my head, so just left it as i had done it initially. :)
Thanxx. :)

Diya said...

@ Hemanth
Thanxx. :)

Diya said...

@ Arnab
Hey, glad that you liked it. :)
Thanxx :)

Diya said...

@ Raaji
Yeah it was. :P
Thanxx :)

Diya said...

@ Mayz
Lol :P
Thanxx :)

Diya said...

@ Aniket
Yeah, I would have done so... but since I had that idea into my head so I just left it as I had done it initially!
Thanxx for commenting and visiting. :)

Diya said...

@ Akanksha
Thank you very much. Glad that you liked it. :)
Thanxx :)

comfortably numb said...

dunno but if I rem correctly this sort of a case actually happened some years back wen Kolkata was still good old Calcutta...n in that case the victim actually didn't escape:(
gud one:)

Walker said...

Very nice fiction with real ramifications

Diya said...

@ Comfortably numb
Oh ok, thats really unfortunate.
Thankxx nevertheless. :)

Diya said...

@ Walker
Thanxx :)

Anonymous said...

nice attempt... the concept of starting it with a forcast is worth noticeable... keep on working...

Diya said...

@ C
Thanxxxxx :P

arijit said...

nice one...idea is nice...

Diya said...

@ Arijit
You chose to read the fiction... eh? :P
Nevertheless thankxx for appreciating. :)
Thanxx :)

Bozo said...

Hmm..

i liked this one...keep writing!

Diya said...

@ Bozo
Thanxxx dude. :)