Nothing at all!

Nothing comes to me when I sit silently staring at the blank word document in front of me. But throughout the day thoughts keep passing in and out intermittently, as I sit quietly, head bowed to the book on which I cannot concentrate, yet to which I cling with uncanny irrelativeness, sensing a personal attachment to the death of the schizophrenic father when his son thinks, how he had conveyed father’s death to his mother as well as on her father’s death a number of years back, but that nobody had conveyed his fathers death to him, the irony stings as I reconsider similar situations, maybe that is the reason why I cling to it. It is in a similar way that I seem to cling to my gloominess now-a-days. I have stopped interacting with most of my friends, even though I pine to speak to them always, but now even they seem to refute my advances. The world rolls round and life goes on, but I seem to gradually detach myself as a cello tape gradually rolls away from the roll. The strangeness of these facts as mine own seemed to sting me in the initial days. But I have accepted them now, as human beings are submissive to the ways imposed on them.

Nothing seems to occur to me, as I am hardly moved by anything now, though I feel my every day encounters with reality effects me much more these days than they did in the past. I write for hour’s everyday, but I uncannily delete every word before I go to sleep, or save them up routinely in the archives to which I provide no one access, but I constantly seem to fall short of things to post, this seems to be the reason why I post so less these days. My initial attachment with blogging has also slackened and is gathering dust now-a-days. I spend less time in this and read fewer posts even! I even contemplated deleting my blog. A few old relationships are turning over a new leaf over the last few days, whereas people on whom I relied the most seem to be constantly moving away. I am not liking the situation, but I am not being able to do anything either.

I just could not find anything to write about, so just decided to put into unforgiving words my present status. Still, some things are better dealt with silently rather than trying to communicate it and in the process making it more incomprehensible. This strange passiveness is frightening me sometimes, but I feel strangely at peace with it sometimes too!

Thank you if you had the patience to read through the crap atleast!

Please do read and comment on my efforts if you find this post popping up anywhere near you :P